The other day Grant and I were driving home and my cell phone began to ring. As I went to answer the phone, my car started to cross over the line, making Grant a little nervous. He said "Mom, your driving outside of the white line, isn't that illegal"? After I quickly got back into my lane, and got off the phone, Grant and I talked a little bit about the "rules of the road". Solid lines, dashed lines, passing, the basic laws of driving.
Today, days later, God brought me back to this incident and this is what He said. "You remember how easy it was for you to cross over that line when looking for your phone, that is what you do when you compare yourself, your husband, your boys, your life to others, you cross over the line. You cannot stay focused on Me (on the road) when you are busy looking around at others or in my case for my phone".
This has been a lesson that God has been teaching me for quite some time. When I was on oxygen, I wanted so badly to be like anyone else who wasn't. I compared myself to friends that were healthy and wanted to be like them. Today, I compare myself in other ways to those around me. All it takes is a few posts on facebook and I am there, hook, line and sinker. Your a runner, I wish I could run. I wish I was as skinny, as tall, as gifted, as funny, as loving. I see those around me who I think are a better wife, a better mom, a better friend and I COMPARE!
And if I am completely honest, I compare my kids with other kids! It might be subtle, it might seem innocent, but God sees my heart and it is wrong. Asking after a game, how many errors did G make? And then asking about all the other boys. COMPARING. Even comparing one son to the other.
This week, God has shown me how important it is to not let the distractions and circumstances of life, set me into a mode of comparing myself to those around me. Or my boys. How vital it is to "stay in my lane", as a dear friend of mine often says! That when I look off to the left or the right, at her home, her body or even her faith, I am not focusing on HIM and inevidably I swerve off course creating discontentment. I cannot love others the way I believe God intends me to, if I am comparing myself, my husband or my kids to those around me.
SO today I declare that I am staying in MY lane! I am not crossing over the line into your lane any longer. I am so thankful for do-evers and second chances and today is a perfect day for a do-over!
"Lord, thank you for using my poor driving to teach me your desires for me. I pray that I would keep my eyes fixed on You and You only. Thank you for loving ME for me, please help me to do the same. May I love others better as I love myself more." Amen